“Homemade” Pizza

To me, calling a pizza homemade when the only part you’ve made is the crust seemed like taking too much credit. But as I don’t expect the cheese or other toppings to be homemade, I guess it’s fine to put the sauce on the topping side of the line just this once. Be warned: This is the slippery slope that led to nobody being able to cook.

You: Hello

Stranger: Hi

You: How are you?

Stranger: I’m doing alright, how are you?

You: Doing pretty good

You: Having a good Saturday?

Stranger: Going pretty well

You: Cool

Stranger: So what are you doing on omegle? Just burning some time?

You: I’m trying to find people that will teach me to cook

Stranger: What would you like to learn to cook?

You: Pretty much anything

You: I can make spaghetti, red beans, and black beans. So anything that’s not one of those

Stranger: Haha, alright

Stranger: Hmm

Stranger: Do you like pizza and as a follow up question, have you ever made it from scratch?

You: I do like pizza, and I have never made it from scratch myself, but I’ve done it where someone else made the crust and I put toppings on it

Stranger: hmm alright, well here’s a pizza I like to make from scratch

Stranger: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Crazy-Crust-Pizza-Dough/Detail.aspx

Stranger: this is the dough I like to use because you don’t need yeast

You: Weird

Stranger: I’m just bad at keeping around haha, but the dough is great

Stranger: it’s even better if you add basil and oregano

Stranger: for the sauce I use basil pesto

You: How do you make it?

Stranger: just mix the ingredients listed there and it’ll make a bid lump

Stranger: *big

Stranger: if it’s too soggy, add more flour

Stranger: make sure it can hold it’s own and doesn’t stick all over your hands

You: That’s usually what I look for in a woman

Stranger: then spread it out flat on a cookie sheet/pizza stone if you have one

Stranger: haha

Stranger: it is a desirable characteristic in many things including pizza crusts

You: Indeed

You: Also, no yeast is a plus for both

Stranger: lol

Stranger: very true

Stranger: so for toppings I use sprinkle mozzarella as the main cheese, then big chunks of goat cheese. then for veggies I use roma tomatoes cut into fourths, spinach leaves, artichoke hearts and palm hearts

You: Awesome

You: How do you do the sauce?

Stranger: I use basil pesto for sauce, and if it’s too dry (which it shouldn’t be if it’s good, but it happens) olive oil is always a plus

Stranger: and you can also brush some on the remaining exposed crust

You: Hm

You: How do you make basil pesto?

Stranger: I would recommend buying it unless you have a food processor, but essentially it’s just pine nuts, basil, olive oil and parmesan cheese I believe

You: Ah

Stranger: bertoli makes a really good pesto, but you can also get it in a jar which will keep longer

You: I see

Stranger: but yeah, only other advice is to make the dough really herb-tastic. like lots of oregano, rosemary, basil, whatever suits your fancy

You: That sounds good

You: Any baking tips?

Stranger: definitely keep a close eye on it because the cooking time is kind of ambiguous

Stranger: look for browning on the edges of the crust and on the tips of the goat cheese chunks

You: I’m not sure I can handle that

You: My oven kind of sucks

Stranger: all you really want to get done is the crust, so cut it open and look at it if you’re pretty sure it’s ready

You: Ah, ok

Stranger: basically just go with your gut, I wouldn’t say it would take more than 15 minutes

Stranger: and don’t be afraid to go at a higher degree

Stranger: baseline 350, but I’ve used 400 before and still seen good results

You: Aren’t pro pizza ovens typically really hot?

Stranger: definitely, I mean, if you wanted you could go to 450 but you really need to keep an eye on it for sure, it’ll get done pretty quick

You: Gotcha

You: Do you have any other cooking knowledge you want to share?

You: LIke a recipe for something good to eat with the pizza perhaps?

Stranger: hmmmm let’s see

Stranger: well, to be honest, the best thing with pizza is always beer haha

You: Do you have a good beer recipe?

Stranger: I recommend Magic Hat, Woodchuck Dark and Dry, or something in the delicious microbrew family

Stranger: haha no I’ve never brewed my own before, although that would be cool

Stranger: salads are also tasty with pizza, I would recommend maybe a complimentary salad to the meal with maybe goat cheese, walnut halves, craisins, roma tomatoes/cherry tomatoes, and some kind of balsamic vinegrette dressing

Stranger: iceberg lettuce or something equally tame would be fine in it, but adding a lettuce like endive or a red lettuce would definitely add something to it

Stranger: maybe arugala

You: Yeah, I always go for local organic mix stuff

You: With the dandelions and arugala and shit

Stranger: yeah that would be perfect for that salad haha

Stranger: exactly, all that shit you’re not sure you could eat

You: Yeah, the stuff that looks like weeds when you see it in the wild

Stranger: haha

Stranger: lettuces are tough to identify

Stranger: endive looks like a freaky corn/lettuce hybrid

You: Plants are strange

You: That’s why I eat mostly animals, I understand them better

Stranger: haha, I understand that. their parts are more straightforward

You: There’s nothing like eating a part of an animal you can identify, like the legs or the ribs

Stranger: or oxtails

You: I always love a good piece of tail

Stranger: hahaha

Stranger: sorry I don’t have any good meaty recipes, but I imagine some chicken breast cooked with like garlic, basil, rosemary, butter/oil would be good on the pizza

You: You’re probably right

You: Well, I’m gonna go

You: Thanks for the recipes

You have disconnected.

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