Stranger Eats

We got off to a good start, but this person did not know how to cook. I think I actually taught them something, which is NOT how this is supposed to work. BAD START, COLIN.

You: hello
Stranger: hey
You: i’m learning how to cook. do you have a favorite recipe?
Stranger: no
Stranger: if u don’t mind it’s Chinese
You: your favorite food is chinese?
Stranger: yeah
You: that’s cool
Stranger: maybe it’s just cos im Chinese
You: haha, that makes sense

You: i’m american so i like hot dogs
You: and cheeseburgers
Stranger: oh
You: but chinese is good too
Stranger: yeah
You: i eat everything
Stranger: but kinda fat
Stranger: oh
Stranger: me 2
Stranger: actually…
Stranger: i wanna cook 2
You: do you know how to cook anything?
Stranger: so could u teach me some
You: i don’t know much
Stranger: oh
You: i mean, i can make like pasta and stuff
You: easy things
Stranger: i don’t know at all
You: anything with instructions on the package
You: i guess that’s where you have to start
Stranger: i can make rice
You: hey, me too!
You: i have a rice cooker and everything
Stranger: i mean just rice
Stranger: oh good 4 u
You: if you can make rice, you can make pasta
Stranger: really？？
You: pasta is even easier maybe
Stranger: wow
You: you just boil water and put pasta in
You: and stir it a little
Stranger: i don’t even know
You: you can get sauce out of a jar but it’s fun to be more creative
Stranger: oh
Stranger: yeah
You: so what’s your favorite chinese dish?
Stranger: soy sauce chicken
You: i bet you could make that
You: do you have a skillet?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: then…
You: you probably just have to chop up the chicken and cook it in the skillet
You: add as much soy sauce as you think will taste good
Stranger: oh wow
Stranger: u seems know a lot
You: if you wanted more variety maybe throw in some broccoli or carrots
You: whatever vegetables you like
You: well, i’ve been learning
You: i like to watch food network
Stranger: oh
Stranger: then what about Shredded Chicken
You: hmm
Stranger: u know that？
You: do you have a chicken shredder?
Stranger: no
You: well, you might have to have one of those
Stranger: oh
You: unless you want to shred it by hand, but that takes forever
Stranger: oh
Stranger: but we here just shred it by hand and its delicious
You: we like to invent ridiculous machines to do our work for us
You: take the chicken shredder, for example
You: it looks like a bunch of forks tied to a bicycle wheel
Stranger: oh
Stranger: (⊙o⊙)
You: you get it spinning real fast and throw the chicken at it
Stranger: nice invention
You: you have to make sure its wings are tied down though or it could flap around and miss the forks
You: anyway, i should go
Stranger: oh
You: i’m making duck a la mode and i don’t want it to burn
Stranger: ok
You: it’s been nice talking to you
Stranger: me 2
Stranger: byee
You: bye!
You have disconnected.